The one thing I knew one day I’d have to write but dreaded ever doing. Yesterday at 4.10pm my darling Dad peacefully passed away. He was in no pain an at home with me and my Brother, exactly where he wanted to be. Although we knew this day was coming you can try and try to prepare yourself but once he took those last breaths I knew a piece of me would forever be missing. I am the luckiest girl ever to have had such an amazing adventurous childhood, with the most intelligent, clever, Whitty, smart arse man 😂 who I have always been his biggest fan. There’s not many people who can say their dad drove them around Norway an Russia, then the time we drove to Morocco, because of my Dad Iv seen the world an have the most amazing memories. I will forever miss his quirky ways, an Iv no idea who I will ring when I’m having a meltdown about something completely ridiculous an I just need him to make it all better cos that’s what my dad would do. These years battling illness whilst they have been the toughest for us all, I have never been prouder, my dad literally 6 years ago said nope not yet to cancer an smashed life a bit longer whilst trying to beat it. There’s been the good, the bad an the ugly over the years and as a daughter I haven’t always got it right, but one thing that never changed was that he was the centre of my world and whilst things will never be the same an I’m absolutely terrified to do life without him, I feel a sense of peace knowing he lived his absolute best bloody life an he’s done so many amazing things. It’s been made clear over these last years where I get my quirky personality, stubborn ways, an dry humour from, not only can I see it in myself but in my daughter too and I am so proud of him. April loved her Grandad immensely and I just can’t believe I’ll never have to tell them both off for diving around the living room like lunatics causing chaos ever again 😭. It is true what they say that you never appreciate a moment until it’s gone, I’m so so glad I always took a million pictures and one advice to anyone is take the bloody picture because one day it’s all you do actually have. I’m going to miss the little things like lying on the couch watching tv whilst he ticked my ankles or needing a big dad cuddle an not being able to have one I think that’ll kill me the most. I’ll even miss him raiding my biscuit tin and seeing his face that daft cheesy smile when I caught him but then sending him home with a big bag of food just so I knew he would have some goodies in 😆.


This post wouldn’t be complete without thanking my Brother for being my absolute rock throughout these last few months an for being there every minute yesterday, whilst we haven’t always been the closest just due to life being so busy, I can see so much of Dad in him an it’s so nice to see and I hope we can together get through this an make him proud of us. To my Husband who loves me beyond measure an has scooped me up during this whole process an kept me going, he’s put up with me being horrible, snappy and breaking down most days I love you forever, all the times you stepped up at my dads when I just needed you to help an you did it without moaning, you’re the most caring person. An my Dad will definitely rest better knowing I have you to look after me, I genuinely think I am the luckiest girl alive to have found you and still can’t believe I’m you’re wife. Then to my Best friend Haley, who kept my head on this week, for being there when Ben couldn’t, for making me laugh when I wanted to breakdown, for just being around when I needed to not be alone, for helping at my dads when I just needed a comforting support and for taking care of my daughter like her own when I couldn’t be there. I love all 3 of you to bits and I’ll never forget this support cos god knows how I’d be without you. 
I don’t ever want to say goodbye to my Dad an I won’t really because I genuinely believe he will be here pecking my head forever even if I can’t see him🥰. I actually know that I’m going to be overwhelmed with love an support, for that I am lucky but as well please just bare with me as I have know idea how to process these emotions I’m feeling, it’s going to take a while, I am truly heartbroken with a feeling that I think unless you’ve lost a parent you can’t understand or describe it. We haven’t really msged anyone directly about Dad passing as I don’t have the energy for it right now an I just want everyone to let me grieve. There will never not be a day in my life where I won’t need my Dad. I’ll always be a Daddy’s girl an his little Ducky. An I’ll forever tell people all the stories of the best man I ever knew. There’s so much I could write I could probably go on forever but for now he is forever in my heart, I love you Dad x